We were talking about these quotes a few days ago, so I looked them up and collected my favorites from these two sites.

Enjoy…

23. Klingon Programmers don’t read manuals. Reliance on a reference is a hallmark of the novice and the coward.

22. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code! If it was hard to write, it should be hard to read, and even harder to modify.

21. By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!

20. Klingons don’t draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are, after all, the illiterate’s form of documentation. Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how much it did for them.

19. Klingon programmers don’t plan ahead; they have a gut feel for the work required.

18. Klingon Programmers ignore schedules.

17. Klingon Programmers don’t write in Lisp. Only effeminate programmers use more parentheses than actual code.

16. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!

15. Our competitors are without honor!

14. Specifications are for the weak and timid!

13. Klingon software does not have bugs. It has features, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.

12. Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!

11. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon.

9. Python? That is for children. A Klingon Warrior uses only machine code, keyed in on the front panel switches in raw binary.

8. Klingon programs don’t do accountancy. For that, you need a Ferengi.

7. Klingon Programmers don’t write specs. Customers should be grateful for whatever they get.

6. Indentation?! – I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!

5. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak. Bugs are good for building character in the user.

4. Defensive programming? Never! Klingon programs are always on the offense. Yes, offensive programming is what we do best.

3. Klingon function calls do not have parameters – they have arguments — and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.

2. Klingon multitasking systems do not support time-sharing. When a Klingon program wants to run, it challenges the scheduler in hand-to-hand combat and owns the machine.

1. What is this talk of release? Klingons do not make software releases. Our software escapes – leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.